Column: Seriously, a clown?

It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I keep hearing about creepy clowns.

While that doesn't sound serious, it is. It's all over the Internet, television, and it is even coming up in conversations. The kids have actually come home and said the whole school is talking about clowns. I'm honestly not sure how the whole clown shenanigans began, but it really needs to stop. Even Ronald McDonald has had to scale back promotional appearances because people are getting leery of even friendly clowns. I'm sure some people don't know what I'm talking about, and if not, Google "creepy clowns" and see what comes up.

All of this talk got me to thinking way too much about clowns, and how frightened one made me as a child. When I was very little, a movie named "Poltergeist" came out and I went to see it at the theater. I'm not sure who thought that would be a good idea to take a kid, but it happened. In one horrific scene in the movie, a clown under a kids bed comes to life and is not nice at all. The clown tried to kill the kid, and I think I might have wet myself in the theater. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to take me?

I tried to erase the memory of that horrible scene from my memory and did so for about a year. That was until I had a birthday and my wonderful grandmother picked a present that still frightens me three decades later. She was a lovely woman, but she had never watched "Poltergeist". She presented me with a clown that was a darn near exact replica of the one under the child's bed. She watched me open the present, and I tried so hard to smile. I was not smiling on the inside. I was scared. I think this was the only time I was ever mad at my grandma. Seriously, who thinks it's a good idea to gift a child a creepy clown?

I wanted to throw it away, but my mom would not let me. She not only made me keep it, she made me keep it in my room.

Long story short, I didn't sleep well for weeks. I was so scared he would come running from the closet ready to choke the life out of me the moment I fell asleep.

I finally had a heart to heart with my mom and we threw away the clown. I'm sure we could have taken it to the thrift store, but why cause someone pain like that.

We never spoke of throwing away this clown, and I'm sure my grandma thought it was always by my side and would eventually end up in my dorm room and passed on to my children. I could never tell her of what happened to my birthday present.

For years this memory had been locked away, that was until there was all this talk about clowns.

I certainly hope the next pop culture madness doesn't stir up any more hidden memories.