Go Ask Jo: 3/24/2021
March 24, 2021
Have you ever heard of the 80/20 happiness rule? My sister has told our family over the years (again and again), that everything you do should fit the 80/20 happiness rule. If you are not happy at least 80 percent of the time, change whatever it is you are not happy with or in. This can be applied to your relationship, your job, your bodyâ€¦.anything. What do you think?
Signed, Percentage Overwhelmed
Thatâ€™s a new one for me. When I really thought about it, it made a lot of sense, for most things. If you stick with the rule, are you happy in your marriage/relationship 80 percent or more of the time? Do you look forward to going to your job 80 percent of the time? What if you are not? Do you take the chance to leave a job that may be the main source of income for your family? I can definitely see how applying this rule strictly could cause some upset in lives. On the other hand, I have been able to give up convenience store burritos, donate my wool socks (not comfy 80 percent of the time), and will be limiting my interaction with several individuals who irritate me 80 percent of the time! My advice would be look at each situation and make the best choice possible (hopefully more than 80 percent of the time).
I need your advice. I had an aunt (now deceased) that was mean. She was rude, opinionated, and literally cruel in the way she spoke to family members. Now that she has died, everyone speaks about her like she was a saint! UGH! I cannot keep my mouth shut. I want to scream at everyone â€œARE YOU KIDDING ME?! My memories of my aunt are of her making everyone uncomfortable with her biting comments of my moms housekeeping, my and my sisters hair, clothes, etc. Can I speak up and let people know how I feel?
Signed, About to Explode
Oh, you definitely need to explode, just not at your family. Scream into a pillow, eat a quart of your favorite ice cream while ruminating on the fact that your aunt can no longer comment on it. Take a run, punch something (again, not your family). Trust me your family knows exactly who your aunt was, they just donâ€™t want to speak ill of the dead. Deep breath.