Serving Southern Jefferson County in the Great State of Montana

Column: The six pound bag of candy

I'll be the first to admit that I really don't care much for Halloween. I rarely dress up, and the only reason I have the past couple of years is to take Shayla trick or treating. A person dressing up elaborately does not bother me; it is just not my cup of tea. Everyone at the house thinks I'm the Halloween "Grinch", but I'm not going to pretend to like something that I don't.

While I'm sure that people had a lot of fun this year and really enjoyed seeing the various costumes for those both young and old, my actual highlight was getting my shoelace caught in the wheel of my chair at work. I tried to get up to go outside and that chair was not having any of it. It jerked me back and almost sent my computer on the ground. I swear I am the only person who can manage to get stuck in their desk, and it's happened twice since Halloween. That most likely doesn't sound like fun, but still a better time for me than Halloween. I think it probably goes back to when I was in sixth grade and some high school kids stole my candy and roughed me up a little bit. That was horrible for a kid and probably ruined me on the day forever. The kid that was once won best costume for his "Rubik's Cube" is now sour on the day because a couple of bullies wanted candy. I've always found it weird that Halloween is a time when many kids will wonder the streets unattended, and are allowed to go to strangers house to get candy. Kind of strange if you think about it, because it sure wouldn't be very acceptable the other 364 days.

Because of my indifference about the day, I waited till the last possible moment to purchase candy. There were probably plenty of people who purchased in when it was on the shelves as early as September in some stores – I waited until October 31 at 4:30 p.m. The selection this late in the day was not very good and after having a lot of trick or treaters the past couple years, I bought the biggest bag I could find. It was a six-pound bag that featured a mix of things that probably keeps dentists up at night like banana taffy, gobstoppers, and sweet tarts. I didn't think this though at all. I could have a bought a lot of smaller bags with more variety, but instead I did one with only four candies and all of them that should have the name brand "Cavity".

When I got home I started to cook dinner and was thinking at anytime the door would start ringing and I could slowly get rid of this huge bag of candy. After about an hour there was finally a knock, but it would another hour till the next knock. In total there were only about 20 who stopped by on the night and this did not even put a dent in the bag that had been transferred to a bowl, and quite possible spilled one time because six pounds of candy was way much to put into it.

This was one of those years where we didn't get a good crowd. Because of this, I will probably buy half the candy I did last year and end up getting twice the trick or treaters.

As bah humbug as I may sound, I did enjoy going up to school in Whitehall and seeing some of the great costumes during the annual parade. There was everything from an awesome Odell Beckum Jr. to a box of tissue. The kids all seemed happy during the parade, but that might have also been because they had just had a ton of sugar. I hope none of them got their candy stolen.

Another boon through the day was going through Shayla's bag and getting some of my favorite things. I have done this about three more times without her knowing. I guess I'll find out really soon if she reads the paper.

Maybe if I dress up in 2017 it could be more entertaining than 2016, or I could just take the day off, hide in the basement and not answer the door, if anyone bothers to show up. I'll still most likely have the six-pound bag from this year.

 

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