Column: The travelers

Publishing a newspaper every Wednesday I don’t get to travel that much or anywhere too far away. Sometimes this makes me a little bit sad, but all of the time I’m completely okay with it because it means I don’t have to deal with “fellow” travelers.

Whether it be in an airport or on a interstate or highway, I believe traveling can bring out perhaps not the “worst” in people, but defiantly some strange and over exaggerated behavior.

I don’t really fly much anymore, but when I do it is always the same. Someone is either walking to their gate or to get their luggage talking so loud someone could probably hear them three states away. This happens as well in stores and other public places. I’m not sure why certain people didn’t get the memo, but it is 2018 you don’t have to scream in the phone for someone to hear you. And if your at the airport, the other 99.5 percent of the passengers on the plane don’t really care George that you’d like to shower up before you get a bite to eat upon arriving in St. Louis.

And as long as we are talking about the phone, there is not a day I don’t see somebody driving around yacking away on their cellular device. This is worse on the interstate where I swear about one out of every five out-of-state travelers is talking on or looking at their phone. Seriously, what could be that important? Unless it is an emergency that can’t absolutely weight put the phone down. It is usually probably something stupid too like a phone call from George about him wanting to shower before eating.

Another strange thing I always witness on a road trip is how people act traveling long distances. I’ll be the first to admit that I can get a little stiff riding in the car and I’m sure most people do. That does not however mean that I will get out at a rest stop and start doing some strange stretching routine that is not only awkward to watch, it usually is in my way of making to the bathroom after my sixth cup of coffee. Some of these people act like they are preparing the run the Boston Marathon backwards with no shoes on.

I will get a cup of coffee a lot of mornings at a gas station and during the summer it is often times taken over by “tourists”. For some weird reason and even though people have been to convenience stores thousands of times act like a lost kid at Wal Mart the moment they enter the store. Gas stations stores are usually pretty similar, I’m not sure why you have to stand in the middle of the aisle with your hands on your hips wondering how on earth you are going to find a bottle of “Fiji” water. I’ll take a wild guess and say it’s with the bottled water.

Then of course there are the people who speed. This happens all year and it gets worse in the summer. If you want to drive 150 miles an hour in Utah with your fancy vehicle do it all you want, but keep it near the speed limit in Montana or I’m going to start executing some citizen arrests. I’m also about ready to bust out a Smoky the Bear outfit to detain everyone who throws cigarettes out the window because that can cause some huge problems.

The summer after I graduated high school I worked the evening shift at the front desk at a Days Inn and never seemed to be bothered by tourists, but that has changed. Occasionally, a customer would be a huge jerk, but you find that everywhere so it was not that big of a deal. A summer during college I waited tables at a restaurant near a major highway and still was never freaked out by those passing through.

I guess I’m just getting grumpy as I get older. If I had to hear in 2018 someone from out of state say “I’m not from here what’s good” I just might lose my mind. And if a cell phone went off during an order -- that would be too much to handle.