Go Ask Jo: 6/9/2021

Dear Jo,

I am a people pleaser, have been all my life. It literally pains me to have people not approve of what I am doing and how I am doing it. I know it is not healthy either physically nor mentally to be this way. How do I gather the confidence to make decisions and go about my life without seeking the approval of others?

Signed,

Exhausted People Pleaser

Dear People Pleaser,

Ahhhhh, I have suffered from that one during my life also. I think everyone would like to be accepted and approved of, it is just more pleasant and easier. BUT, you can drive yourself crazy living that way! Try this, make a decision today for yourself and do not stray from that decision. For example, if you have plans do an errand, someone wants you to do something else, don’t. Make your priorities count, even if you need to start with just one. People will not always be happy with you, no matter what. If you start by making one priority, then another, you will get there. What’s that song? “Just put one foot in front of the other...” It may be from Rudolph, but it still applies. I hope this helps.

Signed, Jo

Dear Jo,

I love my friend, I will start with that. I really do. I don’t want to say or do anything that would risk losing my friendship. I have a problem though. Whenever I go to her home, I come out covered in dog fur. I mean stuck to my clothes, up my nostrils, feel like I am breathing it kind of dog fur! Ugh, just writing this makes me want to blow my nose! Whenever I try to bring up the subject, make a joke to address it, or ask a question regarding dog fur, she just breezes over it. How can she not be more aware of this furry issue?!

Signed,

Furry and Unhappy

Dear Furry,

ACHOO! I feel like sneezing after reading your letter! It is a difficult position to be in. You might try to invite her to your home, I assume it is a less furry option. An honest conversation is an option, although it does seem like she if fine with the fur. Lastly, an allergy pill and acceptance of fur removal after your visits if the other two options do not appeal to you. Our furry friends are like family to most of us, so good luck!

Signed, Jo