Go Ask Jo: 6/23/2021

Dear Jo,

I have a friend who flatulates…..like, A LOT! Now normal flatulation is, well, normal, right? But this person can pass gas on a dime, and does WAY more than is normal! And the smell. Good grief if a skunk were to spray you directly in the face, it’d seem like a breath of fresh air compared to some of these zingers!

Okay, so the question is, how do I put a positive spin on asking this person to either change their diet DRASTICALLY or to PLEASE remove themselves FAR from any God-fearing company when they feel one coming on? TIA for your consideration.

Signed,

Gassed out in Gardiner

Dear Gassed,

What a stinky situation! I have some experience with this exact thing though, believe it or not. I have family members who suffer from flatulation overload. I have even had a bout or two myself! The only way is the honest way. When you find a moment to speak to your friend, hopefully one with “clear” air, speak frankly and quickly (in case of gas pass). She or he may be used to their own smell and really not know what a stink they are stirring up! Just in case you need a back up plan, carry Vaseline in your pocket, rub one fingerful under your nose and hope for the best! Good luck my gas suffering friend.

Signed, Jo

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Dear Jo,

You know how we all have ear wax? Well, my husband has ear wax, so much ear wax that it literally comes out of his ears, daily! He is an attractive, intelligent man; how can he not clean his ears?! I have kindly mentioned to him he may need some professional attention. He remains oblivious, or at least acts that way. Did I mention he is sooooo sensitive when I say something about his hygiene? He reacts by being grumpy for at least a month, pouting and acting put out. How do I let him know that having dinner and wine becomes far less romantic when I can’t take my eyes off the glob about to fall out of his ear! Gross! HHHHeeeeelllllllpppppp!

Signed, Sticky situation

Dear Sticky,

Let him pout! Tell him the truth and add that if he wants any “romantic” attention again, he will clean his damn ears, everyday! Something tells me that will get his attention. Good luck friend.

Signed, Jo