Thought Provokers: 8/10/2022

To pretend like we are yelling, we make our voices quieter.

The best and worst part about the internet: it’s pretty easy to find people who act and think as you do.

There are two types of people: those who stop the microwave with 1 second left, and those who let it beep.

Someday, a murder suspect will use their presence in Google Street View as an alibi.

You don’t have to be a great pilot to be a kamikaze pilot. You just have to get to your destination.

Bumping the price up to $1.25 completely ruins the Dollar Stores' business ideology.

When various forms of contraception fail, that’s just life finding a way.

Scented candles have probably disappointed more people than they have made happy.

An only child whose parents were also only children has the ability to end their bloodline, which existed for thousands of years, by not reproducing.

Wheat fields are flour gardens.

5 meters vertically seems like a lot more than 5 meters horizontally.

Deaf people probably get the soundest sleep.

Fake magic is real and real magic is fake.

Kentucky Fried Pork Chops does have a certain ring to it.

Dreams prove that we aren’t in control of our brains for the most part.

There are garages full of normal boring cars from every decade kept looking new to be used in movies that take place in those decades.

At some point, someone will likely take a photo of you that will be used for your memorial service and you’ll never even know it.

The more helium you put in a balloon, the lighter it becomes. The more helium you put in a balloon, the heavier it becomes.

Egg salad is still chicken salad when you think about.

Minor inconveniences are often more annoying than major inconveniences.

Every mirror you buy is in used condition.

Homeless people cannot be placed under house arrest.

Geo-guesser streamers can be hired by the FBI as experts to find a person of interest in a photo.