Connecting Point: Grace Factors

In this life we encounter various relational road blocks, one specifically I would like to address is offense. Such a hazard can be detrimental to our relationships that we cherish or even possible new relationships on the horizon, so we must guard our heart and our words from the negative responses associated with offense. I might be able to offer some wisdom from a Biblical perspective. I’m absolutely convinced that we often fail to operate in grace towards others, “Grace requires patience.” In fact, there is little peace without patience. Being offended easily is a terrible way to journey through life.

The Bible provides us with ample instruction for living—1 Peter 4:7-11 reads: “The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another

without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have

received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its

various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.”

I’m not suggesting we should stand on the street corner with a cardboard sign reading, “The end of all things is near.” However, we need to live our lives like today is our last, preparing for Christ’s return. Getting

continually caught up in the offenses of others is a nasty cycle that will only drag you down. Grace requires practice and fortitude.

The following are some factors to be considered: First, is it possible that you have allowed frustration, unforgiveness, or, worse, anger to possess your reaction? Doing so actually subtracts from the very work of God’s grace in and through your life.

Second, is it possible that we’ve misunderstood what’s transpired? Sometimes the other person doesn’t intend to bring offense; we could be misconstruing their intentions. Let’s say the other person is outright offensive or even belligerent. Responding in kind will only make the situation worse. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Third, is it possible that we are wrong? Admission of guilt often is a last response. Better than overreacting, patient thoughtfulness, and

attending to prayer, and you may discover the offense has dissipated. Don’t allow the devil to agitate you to overreact and to make things worse. It is all too human to be overly defensive. Take some time and prayerfully reflect on the matter. Who amongst us is right 100% of the time?

Lastly, is it possible that a mild response on your part will buy you time to comprehend the other’s irritability? Giving in to offense allows the devil to get a strong foothold in our relationships. Close friends become enemies. The other person could be facing some major health problem, fighting depression, struggling to deal with personal challenges and the list goes on. Choosing to operate in grace allows understanding of the other party.

The honest-to-goodness truth: we all appreciate when grace comes our way. So I encourage you to go with grace.