Just Ask Georgia: 11/9/2022

Georgia, I have a question,

I hate this word, but it is the only way to describe this. Why is my grandma’s house always...moist? Like, everything just feels swampy in there. She lives here in Montana, with no humidity, yet I feel like I’m in the bayou when I visit. Her table is damp, her chair is wet, and the air is...well, again, moist. I don’t get it.

Disliking the Moisture

Dear Moisture,

Oh, moisture...it is a crazy thing. My guess is your grandma has a humidifier that may be turned on a little too often, which may make the Montana air feel a bit more like the swamps of Florida.

When we age, we dry out. Our world’s environment just isn’t the kindest to us, and the older we get, the drier we are, hence the humidifier.

My advice? Leave grandma be - she needs the moisture to be comfortable. Throw on your swimsuit the next time you are around and enjoy the impromptu sauna. There are definitely worse things in life - be glad she doesn’t actually live in the bayou and there aren’t alligators to dodge. The time spent with your grandma far outweighs the moisture issue.

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

I have a job interview. Sometime. I think it’s next week. But I’m not sure. That’s my question. When is my job interview? I don’t want to let the job know I forgot when it is, so I tried to Google it but came up with nothing. You’re my last hope.

Forgetful of Appointments

Dear Forgetful,

Oh lordy, child, you need a datebook, and ASAP. Go to Walmart, pick out a two-year planner, and get to filling that thing out. Other than that, I can’t help you. Adult up and call your potential employer. May I suggest NOT saying you have no idea when the interview is, but that you misplaced your calendar?

Good luck!

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

I do stupid things, often. I once pulled the Do Not Remove tag off a mattress, but nothing happened. I once let my dog poop on the grass when the sign said not to, but nothing happened. Today I decided to open my snowglobe and drink its contents. I don’t feel so good. Am I gonna die?

Snowstorm Tummy

Dear Snowstorm,

Yes, it’s pretty inside of a snow globe. Yes, we’ve all wondered what it would taste like. However, common sense dictates we do not drink the snow globe, though it seems your common sense is lacking.

I don’t think you’re going to die, but I definitely would visit a doctor as soon as possible, just to be safe. And please, stop doing stupid things that can actually harm you. There is a big difference between removing a mattress tag and drinking sparkly water that has been encased in glass for who knows how long!

With love, Georgia

Have a question for Georgia? Email her at whledger@gmail.com or use the dropbox outside the Ledger office! Please note: this column is just for fun. No person, animal, or property has ever been harmed or in danger. Satire is “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.”