Just Ask Georgia: 12/

Georgia, I have a question,

I recently learned that a small man has been living in my attic for the past 53 weeks, unbeknownst to me and my family. He doesn’t speak any English and he acts feral. I don’t know what to get him for Christmas this year. Any suggestions?

Clueless

Dear Clueless,

What wHaT WHAT?!?! He lived in your attic for over a year and you want to get him a Christmas present? How about charging him back rent? Well, you are much nicer than I am. Hmmm...I guess...maybe a heated blanket?

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

My 25-year-old son just got a job in engineering and is now discussing moving out in a few months. I took $8,000 out of his bank account to top him from moving and now there’s a court case. How do I get custody of my son back?

Always a Mommy

Dear Mommy,

Repeat after me...Your. Child. Is. Grown. REPEAT. YOUR CHILD IS GROWN! Your job is done! Give him his money back and pray that he doesn’t take you completely out of his life forever once he’s moved out!

With love, Georgia

Have a question for Georgia? Email her at whledger@gmail.com or use the dropbox outside the Ledger office!

Please note: this column is just for fun. No person, animal, or property has ever been harmed or in danger. Satire is “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.”