Thought Provokers: 1/11/2023

Nothing is stopping any of us from going to a different restaurant every day and saying it’s our birthday for a little free cake.

The only reason monsters don’t exist is that whenever we discover a real monster, it immediately becomes an animal.

We don’t actually remove parasites when we cook meat, we just kill them. You are eating dead parasites.

With eggs being so expensive, that weird person on your street that has their own chickens is finally vindicated.

Despite the main demographic for Pokémon being 20 to 30-year-olds and continually growing older with each new release, you’re only ever able to play as a teen character in the games.

Breaded chicken is weird. We coat an adult chicken with a baby chicken, cover it in flour, fry it, and eat it.

There’s a certain turning point where weighted blankets go from helping with anxiety to giving anxiety.

One day, we will remember old people through gifs, their TikTok videos and posts saved off once thriving websites.

There’s a radius around your house where you refuse to sleep in a hotel.

We vilify thieves but glorify military conquerors for thievery on a much larger scale.

It’s not a self-help book unless you wrote it yourself.

Birds collect our hair to stay warm, we gather theirs for the same purpose.

Bilingual people must have a preferred language when dreaming.

Realizing you’ve checked off everything that needed to be done for the week at 4:00 pm on Thursday is as good an endorphin boost as a 3-mile run.

Cross-stitch is physical pixel art.

chances are it’s likely happening to a lot of other people.

Reading someone else’s mind wouldn’t be very useful if you don’t speak the same language.

When you’re pregnant, every hug is a group hug.

Running on treadmills is running on the outside of a hamster wheel.

It is weird that we let kids play with little plastic Army toys when every one of the toys is in a pose meant to resemble the killing of someone else.

Mario is a ridiculously bad plumber.