Just Ask Georgia: 1/18/2023

Georgia, I have a question,

I’m planning to go on a weekend trip with a couple of my girlfriends. I’m going to be bringing my baby; she is seven months old and is strictly breastfed, so obviously, I have to bring her.

One of my friends wants to come on the trip as well but wants to bring her almost two-year-old. The two-year-old uses cups and is self-sufficient. I feel like that kind of defeats the purpose of a girls' trip without children. I don’t want her to bring her child! How do I tell her without sounding rude or mean? Please help.

Only One Mama on This Trip

Dear Mama,

Wow. Just...wow. A two-year-old is NOT self-sufficient and the fact that you believe your child is more “qualified” to go on this trip than your friend’s child shows that you have a lot of growing up to do. Go on the trip with your baby, let your friend go on the trip with her baby, and keep your mouth shut.

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

How young is too young for a tanning bed? My baby is one month old and is SO pasty white! It’s really embarrassing!

I tried asking a salon about just getting her a base tan like just laying in a tanning bed for two minutes or so, and they were so lame about it. I’m thinking of taking her to Mexico and I can’t have her this pasty white! I think this is legal, taking a baby to a tanning bed, so why is this so frowned upon? I want my baby looking good!

Pasty Baby Mama

Dear Pasty,

Yes, please expose your new baby to all the glory of potential skin cancer basically right from birth! Your child is beautiful just the way they are and a tan of any kind (But especially fake) is not healthy for them. Do you not see all the billions of types of baby sunscreen available? Open your eyes...and maybe let someone else raise your child if you’re this concerned with their tan.

BTW, California, Delaware, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Illinois, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Texas, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, ban the use of tanning beds for all minors under 18. Don’t you think there is a reason for these rules???

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

Why don’t dating apps allow me to filter by IQ? I’m only attracted to highly intelligent people, such as myself. In order to register for this hypothetical app, you would be required to take an actual, certified, IQ test. Doesn’t this sound ideal for us smarties? I’m going to be a billionaire!

Smarter Than Thou

Dear Smarter,

Well, aren’t you a pretentious little turd? Good luck in all you do and I pray you don’t find someone through this method to procreate with. Wow.

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

As a pretty girl, how do I force myself to be nice to ugly girls?

Prettier than Pretty

Prettier,

Sound like your name should be Ugly Heart. You have problems. Don’t ever force yourself to do something - these girls do not need you to like them. They are better off without you forcing yourself to be their friends.

With love, Georgia