Thought Provokers: 1/18/2023

Making fun of short people is the last social taboo seen as acceptable.

Murder is universally despised, and yet assassins are deemed cool.

The actual reason children are a boundless fountain of energy is that they don’t have to use their brains constantly as adults do.

A job interview feels like a conversation between two liars, both of which knows the other is lying.

It’s important to keep your most hated pair of underwear so you know exactly when to do laundry without going commando.

Flesh-eating zombies are a great example of equality because they don’t discriminate against anyone.

Any sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from stupidity.

The Miss Universe pageant only has contestants from Earth.

The thoughts you have and the actions you take are two separate things.

The number of children who have seriously tried to eat a cotton ball after viewing the movie Elf is not zero.

When someone tells you that you made their day, it also makes your day.

It’s frankly amazing more people don’t fall off chair lifts.

History’s most successful criminals will never go down in history.

Being young is wanting to eat cookies for dinner. Being old is eating cookies for dinner cause you’re lazy.

The loss of any finger technically also results in the loss of a middle finger as well.

Meat eaters and vegetarians both love animals.

The real gauge of friendship is how clean your house needs to be before they can come over.

As long as someone accepts an Oscar in your film, you can describe it as an ‘Oscar Winning Performance.’

There is always going to be something more important to you than to anybody else.

Humans are shorter when they sit but dogs are taller when they sit.

Your eyes can physically detect the sting of citrus and also the sting of spicy pepper. So technically, you can taste things with your eyes.

Life basically consists of moving things and information around successfully.

Mufasa is proof that cats don’t always land on their feet.

Humans are the only mammal with the advantage of trimming their fingernails with their teeth and yet everyone considers it a bad habit.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

The rise of TikTok has increased the number of one-hit wonder artists.