Thought Provokers: 8/16/2023

Why do we put our pants on one leg at a time, but take them off two legs at a time?

If someone from the past suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them—the internet or avocado toast?

UPS will leave a $900 video card on my porch without even knocking but I have to sign for a $10 pizza.

If Apple owned the ISS it would spell disaster for other spacecraft that wanted to dock with it.

A successful marriage ends with watching the other person die.

There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.

Why do we say “heads up” when we really mean “heads down”?

Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

Why do we call it a “building” if it’s already built?

My friend asked to use a USB port to charge his cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book. The future is stupid.

When older generations complain about the younger generations, they are basically admitting they failed to educate and teach the youngsters.

Women are traditionally the ones who cook in the house, yet a lot of the most famous chefs are men.

In 30 years, instead of retirement homes, we will have senior gaming houses.

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it buys all the prerequisites for happiness.

It’s convenient how we ignore that the tops of soda cans are so filthy.

People who think there’s nothing after death won’t know if they’re right unless they’re wrong.

You can be softcore or hardcore, you can’t just be core.

The human fingernail is superior to a commercial scraper in most household situations.

Dressing is liquid seasoning.

There is as much fruit in Fruity Pebbles cereal as there are pebbles.

With how long it takes to fully raise a T-Rex, John Hammond must have been working on Jurassic Park for almost 20 years without a single death just to trip at the finish line.

Tourist spaces are nothing like the cities they inhabit.

One of them is wrong: the spelling or the pronunciation of “Colonel.”

Visiting Times Square feels like going to a dodgy website without ad blockers.

Towards the near future, old people with tattoos will be much more common than they currently are.

The most visited floor by an elevator is the ground floor.

There is a fine line between knowing when the liquor store closes and knowing when it opens.