Just Ask Georgia: 8/30/2023

Georgia, I have a question,

Is it possible Elvis is my dad? I sing real good and look like him. I know my mom was a huge fan. I was born in 2002.

Maybe Elvis

Dear Maybe,

No chance. Elvis died in 1977. While many dispute the King is actually dead, my guess is your dad is an Elvis impersonator. Because, you know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...unless it’s a baby.

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

I identify as a feline. I want to poop in the litterbox and preferably leave it there for the other cats to observe and know who’s the boss in this house. However, I fear my mom will not be happy with this. How do I poop in the litterbox without getting into trouble?

Cat at Heart

Dear Cat,

First, you poop on the carpet a few times and get in trouble. Then when you finally poop in the litterbox it will be perceived as an improvement and you won’t get in trouble. Voila!

With love, Georgia

Have a question for Georgia? Email her at whledger@gmail.com.

Please note: this column is just for fun. No person, animal, or property has ever been harmed or in danger. Satire is “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.”