SPECIAL GUEST RECIPE FOR REDNECK COOKING: Hardrock Harry's Quick Crabapple Pie

Depending on your elevation, the small, red crabapples are right at their tart peak flavor now. If you don't mind a few little seeds, they're just a juicy mouthful right off the tree, as most any kid knows. If you're fussy, forgo reading this.

They're so small, that most people don't think of them as pie material, but they'll surprise you.

INGREDIENTS

2 lbs. crabapples, more or less

1 cup sugar (or sucralose if you want less guilt)

1 tsp cinnamon

½ - 1 tsp nutmeg

½ - 1 tsp allspice

1 Tbsp lime juice

1 Tbsp vanilla

2 heaping Tbsp flour

½ Cup heavy cream or ¼ stick of butter melted in ½ cup warm water, or vodka if you're so inclined.

1 stray cat, gutted and skinned. Oh ... wait ...STOP! That's from a Cousin

Cleavon recipe! My bad!

Option: ½ cup raisins (or more, depending on how it looks to your taste)

DIRECTIONS:

• Gather a couple of pounds of the fruit, checking for any blemishes as you pick. Wash them well in a colander, again checking for blemishes, especially wormholes. With your intended pie dish for measure, pick off the stems and cut off the fuzzy other end, then cut them lengthwise into quarters, until your dish is a pleasingly plump overfull. Empty them into your colander and rinse.

• Dry your pie dish and lightly grease it with butter or Pam.

• You can make your own dough, but this is a quick recipe, so get pre-made pastry shells to suit your taste and dish. I really like crust (being a crusty old miner), so I use Pepperidge Farms Puff Pastry shells, which are rectangular (2 to a box), in a 9" square casserole dish. Regular pie-dough shells for the rest of you.

• Preheat oven to 400

• Combine the dry ingredients and gently toss with the fruit until evenly mixed. Place in a lower crust-lined dish.

• Mix the wet ingredients in a cup or small dish and drizzle over the fruit. You can add a little water if needed.

• Place the second shell over the top and crimp the edges together. Make some cute decorative (or suggestive) holes for vents.

• Bake for 50 – 60 minutes until the crust is golden brown. Cool on a rack, covered with a light towel. Serve with whipped cream or ice cream!