CONNECTING POINT: The Flip Side

Wise men and women over the ages have observed that disagreements knock on our door when we least expect them. We, within “church circles,” encounter the same. The good news is that the Bible doesn’t leave us empty-handed. When conflicts arise to the surface, we are given principles to address such matters.

In contrast to the temptation to follow the easy way, Paul depicts the Christian life as a journey and even as a course to run as the project of a life united with Christ. “Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends! I plead with Euodia, and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me, put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you,” (Philippians 4:1-9).

The book of Philippians has some well-known, standout verses; they include rejoicing in the Lord always and not being anxious about anything, instead, praying. If we stop and take the time, we find a gold mine of truth within the context. Paul is addressing a serious problem among those Christians. He was not present; he was under house arrest, so how was he aware of this disagreement? Paul did have visitors during his incarceration, one of whom included Epaphorditis (4:18; 2:25-30), a trusted church leader, who most likely brought the matter to him.

The text reveals a path forward for handling disagreements; we, too, can learn and apply these principles.

First, we need to always find our footing and joy in Christ. Disagreements can occur among Christians and still be resolved in a Christlike fashion; this will bring about greater rejoicing. Sometimes, the resolution requires involving other mature leaders/counselors to bring clarity and direction.

Second and third, practice gentleness even when “feeling” frustrated or angry. Tone and eye contact are to be considered when speaking to another person with whom we disagree. You can be gentle. Also, understand Christ is near, perhaps more so when we are anxious. Fourth, pray honestly and fervently. Spend time deeper in prayer and reflect on God’s Word. Ask God to reveal the path to be taken.

Finally, adjust your thinking. We'd best pick out what is pure, right, and even noble, in matters where disagreement is festering. Flipping the script may help resolve the disagreement, and grace can bring healing to the relationship.