COUSIN CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: Mythical Pork Rinds

Here in Montana, you hear a lot about the mythical creature called the Man-Bear-Pig. I was sitting around the fire last weekend with my family and Uncle Jim-Bob told a hero story of how he saved Mary-Loo from the beast. Interesting story about her name, she was born in a rest-room in London. Jim-Bob also made the best pork rinds I have ever had, from the creature.

Jim-Bob and Mary-Loo were going out in the wood last fall to hunt for deer. Mary shot a Nice 4-point buck when it started to become dark out. Mary was yelling for Bob, but Bob was nowhere to be seen. So, Mary walked back to the truck to get her knife and call Bob. He was at the truck, so they both walked to the deer together. As they walked upon the deer, they were shocked to see a creature eating it! Bob described the beast as a bear with a pig's nose and tail, and skin like a human. The thing was ripping and eating this deer like it was wet paper. Bob shot his gun into the air trying the scare it, but that only made it charge Mary-Loo! As the bear-beast was running toward Mary. Bob shot it in the eye, and it fell over like a car hitting a tree. Bob then shot it four more times, because he feared it would get up. Bob and Mary walked up to the deer and found it was not salvageable. So, Bob said, "I kill it, I eat it". Then they both started field-dressing the beast. As they did, they noticed it was very fatty and smelled like pork. When they got it home Mary thought, why don't we make pork rinds to check to see if it's good meat?

INGREDIENTS & TOOLS:

- Beer to soak the meat in,

plus lots of extra -

- One man-bear-pig -

- Oil -

- Salt -

- Knight in shining armor (Jim-Bob) -

- 30-30 Winchester (known to drop the beast) -

- Extra ammunition, to make sure -

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cut the fat and skin off the back of the beast. Score it like a chain-link fence to make it cook faster. Then cut into thin strips.

2. Soak the meat in beer for about a day.

3. Heat oil to 250o. Then place the pieces into oil until golden brown.

4. Then place the crispy rinds into a brown paper bag with salt and shake. This helps season the pork rinds. Add BBQ dry rub for taste.

Bon Appetit!

P.S. these recipes aren't verified, but let us know if you give them a try!