COUSIN CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: Fresh Microwaved Scorpions

My wife and I have been traveling to visit friends and see our kids. God, has it been a long trip of nagging and earplugs for me and the dogs! Last week we end up in Tulsa, Arizona. I found out very quickly that going outside at night in Montana is nothing compared to Arizona.

I walked outside at midnight to smoke a cigar and saw all these creepy creatures crawling on the ground. I was so weirded out I never even lit my cigar. The next morning I ask the hotel manager about it and he said those "things" are scorpions. He did not say anything more and walked away to help the next person.

So I had to use this thing called Google?? Google told me they are like crabs with long tails, but sting you. So I thought it might taste the same as a crab. So that night I went out with a net. I caught about 2 dozen and brought them into the hotel.

GEAR YOU NEED:

2 dozen scorpion tails

Old Bay seasoning

Cup of beer

Microwaveable bowl

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cut all the tails off the scorpions and put them in a bowl with water.

2. Sprinkle Old Bay over the tails, add the beer and stir.

3. Cook in the microwave for 6 minutes on high.

4. Suck the meat out of the tail like crab legs.

Bon Appetit! PS... Very, very bad idea! I am currently in the hospital with a swollen face. Don't eat!!