COUSIN CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: The Forbidden Powdered Sugar

This is the month where weird things happen. You know, the bump in the night, or that thing you see out of the corner of your eye. I have learned that after you shoot whatever it was, 65% of the time it makes a good dinner. The other 45% we don't talk about it, like your special uncle.

I have been hearing about this big moth-like human crashing into cars around Highway 2. It seems to only crash into cars that have light bars on them. I mean those light bars that make you feel like you just looked at God. This creature is said to be some 6 feet tall and like a moth. One person calls him "Mothman." Everyone I interviewed stated that they had the best powdered sugar taste in their mouth after they hit it.

After hearing everything about the Mothman, I just had to experience this taste. So, I mounted a light bar on my 2017 Harley Road King. In hindsight, this was a bad idea. The Mothman hit me so hard, I lost control and only got stopped just before a big drop off. This Mothman covered me in a brown powder sugar and hot dang, was it sweet! I scraped all the powder into bags, about two pounds of it.

Here's a quick recipe for my world-famous funnel cakes, made all the better by the delicious Mothman's forbidden sugar!

INGREDIENTS

2 cups of cooking oil

2 cups of flour

2 Tablespoons sugar

1 teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

1 cup milk

2 eggs

½ teaspoon vanilla

½ cup of Mothman dust

DIRECTIONS:

1. Mix the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, milk, eggs, and vanilla in bowl. Then heat up the oil in a deep pan.

2. With a spoon, drizzle the mixture into the hot oil to make funnel cake.

3. Once the dough is golden brown, take it out and sprinkle on the dust.

Bon Appetit!! PS...we do not recommend trying to catch the sugar of the Mothman without the proper equipment.